Urban fantasies, the thrilling conclusion.

I promised a third and final reason for hissing at Vessel's association to urban fantasy. Urban fantasy featuring cute shoes is that reason. I am of course referring to the slew of chick lit with magical (and invariably urban) themes. Here is the basic idea:

"Not all women want to read about unrealistically proportionate female sex objects saving the world from demons using sexy, sexy judo skills and magic. Nor do they want to read about a guy doing the same thing. They want a heroine they can relate to...(and here's where they ruin it)...So my book is about a witch who obsesses over her weight and goes on and on about shoes and gets all nervous around that guy at the coven she likes. Isn't that great?!?!" --Barbie McDimtits, Fake Author

GODDAMNIT. It's Bridget Jones with a wand.

I'm talking about real titles like "Sorcery and the Single Girl", "How to Hex Your Ex", and, I shit you not, "REAL VAMPIRES HATE THEIR THIGHS." (Wait. That girl is fat? God, just kill yourself. It's over. We've lost the war).

Look, it's a brilliant combination, extremely fun. I thought Bridget Jones's Diary was wonderful by itself. It never would have occurred to me to add wizards, and I applaud the author who sat up in bed one night with the idea. I detest, however, the countless hussies who have copied her and saturated the market with Curlz font cover art and maddeningly insecure female leads. 

Thus ends my rant on urban fantasies. I do hope to find some good ones in the future and complement them. Because all genres--even Christian Values/Amish Fiction--have their gems. (This is where I admit to reading Beverly Lewis's entire Abram's Daughters series. I do not repent!)

I love you, Beverly! Your descriptions of baked goods make my thighs tremble! <3!

Well. I promise my next post will include no critiques (and no inappropriate fantasies about Amish Fiction writers). Check back Wednesday. Also, Year of the Tiger Press site is up. And Vessel officially has an ISBN number! Life is grand.