BUT! This ball is rolling, ya'll. Vessel is well on its way. It'll be available just as soon as I scan it once more with a red pen and get it up on Lightning Source. Just a month or two more, and it's all yours. Finally.
So in the meantime, here's a little ditty for you. Right after starting my rinky dink publishing imprint, I decided it would be a classy move to start reading Publishers Weekly. Little did I know what a steaming pile of bloated, immaterial knowledge it would be. Here are the emails between myself and PW that followed this revelation:
--------------------------------------------------------------
Sent 10/18/10 at 11:14pm
Dear Publishers Weekly,
I signed up for the six free trial copies of PW a few weeks ago, and do not find PW magazine suitable to my needs or interests. I would like to cancel my subscription after the six free copies, please.
Best,
Tominda Adkins
--------------------------------------------------------------
Sent 11/2/10 at 9:12am
Dear Tominda,
By now you must be enjoying your subscription to Publishers Weekly. You've surely realized how important it is to stay in touch with the entire world of book publishing events and trends...and that nothing else keeps you in touch quite like Publishers Weekly!
Please take a moment to pay this invoice. By sending us your payment today, your Publishers Weekly subscription will continue without interruption.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Sent 11/11/10 at 10:38am
Dear Publishers Weekly:
Perhaps you didn't understand me. By cancelling my subscription to PW, and by stating that it doesn't suit my needs or interests, I was trying to say that it is a bullshit, useless, self-important, irrelevant rag, and that I am not paying for any future copies you choose to send me. And let's be on the same page here: by "entire publishing world" do you mean Kim and Rob Kiyosaki of the "Rich Dad" scamming empire (whose ads pepper your every page like the tears of so many jobless Americans), or these clearly badass guys from this past issue's embarrassingly-designed cover?
Or do you mean the esteemed agent who reviewed that stirring new sci-fi series about cats who operate spaceships? Surely, you weren't talking about me or any other independent publisher, as your website clearly states that you do not accept self-published works for review, and since your articles so often bemoan the advent of radical change in your industry. To hell with your sinking ship and the mortally wounded dinosaur you stand behind. Victory will be mine! I will shame your women and drink your blood as testament! Hyyaaaaaaaaahhh!!
To clarify: Please cancel my subscription to Publishers Weekly.
Thanks!
Tominda Adkins
--------------------------------------------------------------
Okay. Let's be honest here, folks. Will Vessel reach Twilight fame and sell millions of copies and be made into a series of gripping films? In my dreams, maybe. Will some people, a hundred maybe, read it and love it and ask for more? Yes. I can say yes to that, with confidence and gusto. And that's all my little heart desires.
Vessel is the same as any other independently-produced chunk of work, and it will do just fine. People historically enjoy low-budget indie films (like this one! buy it!). People choose to buy music made by small town college bands, using iTunes or whatever else the kids use these days. Books are no different, and they never have been. Facebook, Print-On-Demand technology, online sales, and e-readers just make these books more visible now, that's all.
Does that mean there's a lot more crap out there getting published? Of course! Does it mean all that crap is going to get in Vessel's way? No! Publishing and marketing are two different things. Any idiot with $120 can buy an ISBN number and get a box of books printed. Getting that book in front of people takes hours or work, wads of hard-earned money, unflinching enthusiasm, and tireless love. I got it all in spades (except the money). And so what? Plenty of crap gets published the traditional way, too. Just check the review pages of Publishers Weekly.
Hey, there's always Interlocking Concrete Pavement Magazine! YES!
 |
Everybody sing the song! Interlocking Concrete Pavement Magazine! Interlocking Concrete Pavement Magazine! Interlocking Concrete Pavement Magazine! Interlocking Concrete Pavement Magazine! Yeeeah! |
I signed up, and started a blog, and all that other tomfoolery, just to say:
ReplyDeleteHoly shit, that's the best fucking letter I've read read.
Keep up the ridiculously awesome work, spiteful or not.
PS. I can't deny it, I wanna read Space Cats. Sorry.
Wanna go halfsies on a subscription to Interlocking Concrete Pavement Magazine, everybody at the water cooler is talking about it, and I don't want to be left out
ReplyDeleteYou pave the way and we'll all be here, riding yoru coattails. by the way, charles and i know a director and an actor who'd be really interested in being involved in your books movie adaptation...
ReplyDeleteMy mouth waters at the idea, Dan. If Vessel is ever adapted into a movie I'll probably never get to see it. I'd die first of happy-spasms.
ReplyDelete