Monday, October 4, 2010

"Animals that start with F" and other things I've googled.


(But the real question is: Can I put new shoes on an owl?)

We all google some weird shit. And we always fear the moment that our internet history will drop down and reveal to the houseguest that we've been googling "how to get off the sex offender list" or "do I have anal fissures?". Googling for fictional purposes leads to a new level of context confusion entirely. All those burning questions, all the quick info fixes we chase to ensure the perfect pop culture reference or the most fitting town name--it can leave some pretty interesting leftovers in your hard drive.

While working on Vessel, my own search history began to shock me on a daily basis, so I started saving the best of the best. Here are a few from the past year. Enjoy.
  1. gay man top crushes
  2. hot amputees
  3. Rory Gilmore
  4. motor home length
  5. top gay club songs
  6. famous magicians
  7. engine on when car explodes?
  8. depth of the New River
  9. is the term mulatto offensive?
  10. electrical burns
  11. high school mascots
  12. Animals that start with F
  13. most expensive men's shoes
  14. average weight of a tour bus
  15. gravel company names
I know, right? Now you have to read it. And if you've been to my house and seen any of the above in the search bar, have no fear: it was in the name of fiction. Feel free to use that excuse next time someone outs you for googling "has Oprah ever posed nude?". And always, always remember:
It's true.