Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Words we hate. Discuss.

We all have them, and we can't explain why. Words that just sound like nails on a chalkboard to our unique little snowflake ears. Here are mine. What are yours?

toot
chuckle
lil'
kidnap
Snooki

There are probably more, but when I hear or read those words, I feel more than just a strong dislike; it's revulsion. The last one makes sense, I guess, but I have no explanation for the rest. These words actually make me physically uncomfortable, or angry, or both, and I can't help it. Just typing them up there was difficult for me. Why is that? I have no idea, but I hope you don't use them against me. If you do, I will put you in the same camp reserved for those who think it's a cute idea to tickle me. (Specifically, the camp in my imagination where I watch you do this again and again. Note: there are only three ways out of this camp. Two of them involve giving me chocolate).

Don't risk it. Instead, comment and tell me your most hated words!

**Fun Facts!** While browsing the subject of hated words, I found this witty blog: Words I Hate. I also happened upon a muscle building forum in which the participants--in a surprisingly adorable and insightful manner--discuss their favorite sex positions in one thread, right after declaring themselves either a dog or cat person in the previous thread. I picked up a few new positions. I also learned that, overall, bodybuilders are dog people. The more you know!

I'm overklempt. DISCUSS!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Sorry. Things have just been really rad lately.

It's been what? Two weeks? Nearly three. I haven't posted. Why? Mostly because I've had nothing of real value to share, not even a silly dinosaur picture. My fallback when I have nothing to offer is a book review, but I haven't finished a book since 2011 began. That's right. I've been gnawing away at Lamb and The Girl in the Flammable Skirt for nearly two months now, and am barely halfway through either. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I get even the most enjoyable thing done, like a book, or a blog post, or a single banana? (it's rotten already? really?)

It's just that . . . well, things have been really fucking rad.

1. The Release Party
If you missed it, you missed a good time. My deepest thanks to Jojo and the Arabica Lounge for putting together an incredible spread and making my friends feel at home, to my parents for sneakily calling ahead to foot the bill (the nicest gift ever!), to Jesse Studenberg for carrying boxes of books all weekend and generally being a complete gem, and to all the East Coasters who had sister parties (even by themselves). I may have been back to gutting other people's bathroom sinks the next day, but for one night I got to be a perfect princess. This event meant so much to me and I could not have asked for a better evening, better wine, or better friends to share it with. And yes, those friends coerced a reading out of me. Bastards.

2. BOOK!
I had my cautious expectations for Vessel's first month as a paperback, but holy moly! They were exceeded, and quickly. Truly, I am tickled beyond the brightest shade of neon pink. The crucial thing now is to harness that momentum and carry it forward before everything fizzles. How I'm going to do that, well, I only have the vaguest ideas, but they probably involve tattoos, a trip to the world's third largest arch bridge, getting serious about Book II , and naming a doomed character after one very unlucky reader.

3. Publishing and Design
While I envision doing much more for Year of the Tiger Press in the future, right now I can only offer what I do best (and what I do to get paid, because I need to make a functional career out of this if I'm ever going to get out of the cleaning business). I want to design your book cover. I want to typeset your book innards. I want to format your e-book (because that shit is hard, and you don't have time for that!). I also want to introduce you to a foxy red-headed New Zealander who can edit you to writer nirvana. Someday, I want to sell your book, and pay you, instead of the other way around--but right now, while I test-drive that road with Vessel, I must whore out my excellent (and affordable!) design services. Contact me if interested!

4. THIS

5. Everything Else
In the past few weeks, I've had the pleasures of participating in a Noise for the Needy stand-up comedy show, attending the Clue-themed birthday party of a beloved friend, hearing my 1-year-old nephew say "Hi!" on the phone for the first time, and finally getting to view footage of the most ridiculously fun thing I will ever do as a Gaga fan. Tomorrow, I get to be naked in public, and this weekend, I'm taking a road trip with someone I just so happen to adore.

So while I've had tons to blog about, sitting down long enough to get my point across has been a challenge. Thank you for letting me share. I'll be back Tuesday, with more to give.



Friends enjoying Vessel. Thanks, Natalie, Lois, Darlene, and Lindsey. Get in the on fun; snag your copy from our shop page!



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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The great typo challenge. (Win a book!)

Typos are a fact of life. Typos wind up in textbooks, in bestsellers, in classy marquees, and yes, even in my beloved Vessel. I once scoffed at all the writing and publishing advice columns I follow, but it's true: no matter how many times you read it, no matter how much you pay for editing, and no matter how many other people kindly--and awesomely--proofread for you, a 310 page chunk of text will go to print with typos in it.

Not even my laser eyes could detect every typo.

And so I turn to you, dear readers. If you happen upon an unclaimed typo in Vessel (Book I: The Advent)*, then I salute you! Here's what you do:

1. Check the comments to this blog post to see if the typo has been listed by another reader.
2. If the typo hasn't been listed, congrats! Book II is yours. Leave a comment about the typo below to claim it.
3. Email your mailing address, along with a note regarding the typo, to: vessel.tom@gmail.com.
4. Await your copy of Book II! (pub date tba)


*does not apply to the pre-publication review copies, as many of its typos were corrected for the first edition.

*also does not apply to any edition of the e-book (just too damn many editions in the beginning to keep track of).